I wake up and shake my body to make sure all my parts are still there.

Then comes my toughest task of the day and that is waking “her” up. She resists! “No Brady, its dark out. Come on, hop up, let’s go back to sleep.”

Have you ever tried to sleep when you REALLY have to go? Has she? Hey, I happen to know that she gets up a few times between 9 p.m. and six a.m.

I am gentle, first I start out with my throat clearing, kind of like “ahem” but I do it in a low-pitched, slow-rolling tempo with a big jump in octaves for my final note. Next I make teeny, tiny little whining noises; she turns over and pretends she’s asleep. But I know she isn’t. I start pleading a little louder. I kind of sound like an automobile engine trying to turn over. (una, una, una, — in a nice sing song voice)

Then she starts talking about the snakes and alligators out there, trying to convince me to be quiet. But, hey, I gotta go!

Finally she rolls over and puts one foot on the floor; she forgets that I’m in a hurry for crying out loud. One thing she does like about walking early is that she doesn’t have to put on a bra; she doesn’t seem to like wearing them. She says she’s worn a bra for 60 years and that’s long enough.

Early for me has advantages and disadvantages. I can avoid that nasty Maltese, Miss Prickzilla  or whatever her name is. Good grief Miss P. doesn’t even get close enough to sniff before she starts hissing and growling.  What side of the bed does she get up on, I wonder?

Unfortunately, when I’m too early, I also miss that spicy little Chihuahua, Enchilada. She is cute and we love rubbing our noses together. I wonder why Enchilada can’t get up earlier; she could take siestas later, like I do.

Once “she” is finally ready she puts a leash on me, since it is dark she has me wear a plastic bone that lights up with blue flickering lights. I feel silly wearing that thing. I’m so embarrassed, maybe it’s a good thing Enchilada doesn’t see me in that. I feel like I’m a walking neon advertisement for “kids eat free and happy hour”.

AND since its dark out, she says go right Brady, go right. O.K., I go right even though I don’t want to. She doesn’t even have to tell me twice. Normally right is for night, left is for morning, but she says we have to stay out of alligator alley when it is dark. I’m not really sure if those growls are alligators or wild boar. I know neither would be fun to meet face to face. She says they’re in stereo because the grunts come at us from both sides of Barcelona Drive.

Since it’s still dark when we get back home, I can’t stay out in the courtyard like I like to. So I come in and take a little nap until she’s on her second cup of coffee, then I go cuddle on the couch with her and help her do email and Facebook.

I usually take a long nap after which I undertake my next big responsibility. That is chasing geckos. There are a lot of them on my lanai and I do my part to keep my space clear of those lizards. Some times those little buggers are hard to get to, they are able to climb up on the screens, then I just bark at them until I get them down onto the pavers, then I pretend I’m a cat and pounce on them. Don’t even get me started on cats, I know a few of them, I have tales abut them that you wouldn’t believe.

After that I take a little nap. Then sometimes “she’ll” take me out someplace; but she doesn’t do that often enough. I’ll tell you about those outings sometime. My other entertainment (I mean research) comes when she has people over or I listen to her on the phone. I’ve got some interesting tales there. I’ll tell you some time. But right now, it is time for me to take a nap and dream about Enchilada.